Writer Wrong

So... the barrier I had placed before myself has been broken through. I long anticipated being able to draw the actual pages of this novel, but I do not think I fully conceived of the massive scope of this project. I have stated many times that I am not a writer, per se. So how is it that I believed I could write this story? Drawing a series of pictures in sequence is easy enough if you already know the exact sequence that they should fall. In order for that to happen, I must create that sequence myself. In essence, I must write the story completely just as I would a standard written novel. Then I must draw every sentence/paragraph/page/chapter ect.

I imagine that this would be easier if I was a writer who had a knack for drawing, not vice versa. I thought that having a general idea of the story would allow for all the images to just fall into place. But, it will not be as easy as drawing a bunch of pictures and then arranging them like some newspaper editor. If you are a writer, imagine that after writing a section of your story, the only edits that you can make are only spelling. Imagine writing a single page at a time and printing it to never be able to reorganise or add/delete whole sections.

To put it into a greater perspective, one paragraph of story is one panel in a comic book. One page (give or take) is one full page in a comic and one chapter is a whole issue. If you are an avid reader, imagine this when you read. Imagine how it would be laid out and possibly how it would look. Admittedly this is fairly easy after the complete story is presented before you. So then, it appears I have to do the same with this story.

You may have noticed that I have the overall story completely thought out. I have the major plot points outlined and I have all the characters generalised beyond the main character. I had these details outlined on page with considerations for pacing and storytelling. I even had the first issue plotted and ready for it to be drawn. But, once rendered, it will be difficult and nearly impossible to make edits to later.

So now there is going to be a period of a strict writing regiment with very little being drawn. This is unacceptable for me. I should have taken time while I was rehashing Venge's outfit to write in detail on this story. Some of which I was able to accomplish on this blog. But, at the time, I thought I had the story figured out and it would just flow onto the pages. Now I'm not sure if I want to write it with that standard comic book layout of 24 +/- pages an issue or if I want to write it like a true graphic novel composing of continuous pages with breaks only where the story allows for (i.e. chapters). I am leaning more towards the second. Then, after I get this thing published and see some returns, I can then just work on secondary characters/stories in a continuing series format.

The solution: Divide my time up between drawing and writing. I will spend some time drawing secondary characters and detailing there look while I write the first page. Then I will spend my time drawing the newly written page while writing the next.

We'll see how it goes. And if my last solution is any indication, it won't go as planned =]

Funeral Progression Pt.2

Spent some time reminiscing about my past, the people and situations that affected me and the growth I have noticed. I know this is not the typical "poor me" stuff I usually write about, but having accomplished a large milestone has given me a moment to reflect on the better things in life.

The only regret I have is the situations where I was not able to swallow my pride and instead sacrificed a piece of myself for the benefit of another. I regret not letting the other person(s) know exactly what I was feeling. There are a large number of things that would have happened differently. I may even have ended up in a loving relationship by now.

I regret it deeply, but had I a chance to do it all over again, I do not know if I would change a thing.

In my reflecting I thought back to the first image I ever drew of Venge. I thought back to when the ideas were flowing about merging several Gothic tales into one massive storyline. So emotionally invested in it and so inspired by it, that I still have that first picture.

As a measure of that process and progress, I have for you a comparative display of this first drawing along with my most recent.

Funeral Progression

I've been grinning all day. I am quite pleased with myself. I'm not sure if it was the motivational talk I had the other day. I'm not sure if was coworkers pointing out their views about my artistic talent. I'm not even sure if it was just some sudden burst of inspiration, but Venge's new outfit has been measured, created, fitted, and now ready for the catwalk.

Since I just happened to post frequent updates about this progress, I thought it would be neat to include them all here and treat you to the final product at the end. There are a few sketches I did in between some of these to flesh out ideas, but I will save you from them. You should be able to click on any image for a large scaled version. Sometimes it's not so easy to edit it that way...

So, without further ado, I give the progression on the road to putting this thing to rest:

... but I can see it from here.

Nope. Still not finished. Now uncross your arms and stop tapping your foot! I'm more anxious than anyone to see this thing pushed out to sea to set sail on it's maiden voyage. But, the builders don't have it finished yet. Under normal circumstances I would have shelves this project and moved onto something else. Almost did a couple times in fact. I must be growing up, because this is the first time I have not procrastinated about finishing something. I am going to see this thing through!

I recently met up with a good friend whom I highly respect. I didn't want to meet and discuss this project because I feel that it is not coming along as fast as I want it to. And I am, frankly, ashamed with the feelings that this is not coming along as fast as I think other expect. So, after a few hours of talking about the economy, politics, gadgets, movies, and music; the conversation eventually came around to Venge. I expressed my disappointment in my own performance as the reason why I didn't want to discuss it in the first place. He helped me to realise that the barriers that I was putting in my way were unnecessary. He suggested that I just start the comic pages, leave an empty space or some facsimile in any spots where Venge would be drawn until I get his costume finalised. And it's just crazy enough to work. I have yet to start with this format, but I look forward to it.

Oh yeah. Feast your eyes upon this latest update as it is very nearly at it's completion... (click image for full size version)

Dream or Tame Nightmare?

I had a dream that woke me. I wakened feeling quite proud of myself and full of accomplishment. Then I became immediately ashamed...

I have been able to form and maintain friendships with women. I am able to be my dorky self without fear. This is due to the fact that the women are in a committed relationship. I have always placed a high value on an established relationship that I would not do anything to jeopardise it. I abhor cheaters. Having a lower-than-average self esteem means that I do not think I could could ever provide for them better than what they are already experiencing. Who am I to stand in the way of love? I know that I can be a pretty smooth talker so I keep flirtatious comments to a minimum. I would not want to charm someone to leave their current relationship to take a chance on me failing them.

But, in this dream, I was that guy. I was the other man charming someone away from their mate... And I liked it. I was able to gain the affections from another in such a powerful way that they felt no shame in displaying it in front of their partner. I was the one they wanted and I couldn't contain myself.

After I woke up I felt ashamed. As I am apt to see both sides of a story, I felt for the other guy. The one rejected. The one betrayed. The one that was totally disrespected. I don't remember any details about him. I don't know if he was a total douche. I don't know if he was abusive or a deadbeat. And the fact that those details did not stay with me, leads me to believe that it didn't matter to my subconscious self.

I felt... powerful. Worthy. Loved. And I hate it now. I am ashamed.

What does it mean? Is that truly what I want to be? Or was it some way for my subconscious to uncork the bottle ever so slightly and let out some frustration? I am sure that there is some dream analysis that could determine the root causes and justification. It has me kind of worried.

I am not that guy. I don't want to be that guy... I thought.

Builds Character

Ack!

I said that it would be about a week for the costume Design Board to be completed with my finalised design idea...

Here it is... but not completed yet.

Changed the costume in incorporate a hard armor look to the boots and gloves. Changed the pose a bit (his right leg it still... wonky). Gave the hairdo a bit more motion. Still have to add all the straps, finely detail the lines and give it some "color".

I've been spending a little extra time at work fleshing it out. Made some changes that I am happy with. I will probably make a few more before it sees print. But, I figured you were all due for an update. I'm not good at deadlines... I get distracted. This is turning into more of a 'man in motion' picture than an effective design board. Perhaps, when I get this done, I will make modifications to the previous one I was doing and add the elements that I have decided on here.

I don't foresee this taking more than another week. I'll let you know.

Reintroduction

Onlooker: So, whatcha drawing there?
Me: The main character for my graphic novel, Venge.
Onlooker: Oh, neat. What's it about?
Me: ... It's a long story...

* * *

I find it hard to summarise this story. I have had so many ideas incorporated into this that I find it difficult to hit the main points without leaving out the most interesting. I want to tell the world my idea but I want it to be told in this format I have chosen (graphic novel). Possibly after it's completion I would like to see it branch into multiple mediums. Books, TV, Movies and even offshoots based upon the secondary characters.

So how to explain it whilst still retaining secrecy and without sounding dismissively rude? I want anyone who is genuinely interested to know the whole story... but it's a long one. The snippets I have written here have provided some of the details but it may seem difficult to chew through commentary in between.

What follows will be my attempt to provide a short version, an outline, and a long version.

* * *

Short Version

Venge fell in love with the physical embodiment of Death. Now he kills bad people for a chance to see her again.

Outline

• God created the Earth


• God created his mate, Wogod


• Wogod changed her name to Lilith


• God and Lilith created Man and Woman


• God uncreated Lilith


• Lilith recreated and fought with God


• God and Lilth created the Ungod


• Reality became unbalanced


• Ungod created balance by imposing limits on humanity, God, and Lilith


• Ungod became the forces of Karma, Death, and Judgement


• Charon dies and is judged by Ungod


• Ungod mandates that it, God, and Lilith live lives as humans


• Ungod becomes embodied as Camelia Roper


• Camelia falls in love with Darren Duvoss


• Camelia's 'Death' persona leaks through to her mortal form


• Camelia dies during a death experiment in which Darren is held responsible


• Darren is deemed mentally unstable and unable to stand trial


• Darren kills himself while institutionalised


• Ungod stops Darren from dying and gives him the powers of a Reaper


• Darren becomes possessed by the spirits of vengeful souls


• Darren assumes the name Venge and becomes the Ungod's Angel of Vengeance


• Venge can see spirits, ghosts, God, Lilith, Ungod and into a person's soul, thus allowing him to see the Ungod when it comes to claim a soul


• Venge finds himself confronting the Undead, Clergy from various religions, and himself


• Venge's greatest enemy proves to be Rasputin who was able to avert death by removing his soul from his body and possessing another.


• Amongst his adversaries are the souls trapped in his head, the jealous Charon, a Necromancer, a man scientist, a cult of Vampires, Werewolves, Ghosts, a local law enforcement supernatural task force, Religious orders, God's Angels, Lilith's Daemons, Lilith herself, self doubt, and his own mortality

Long Version

The Beginning: http://midknightmares.blogspot.com/2009/12/beginning_15.html

Beginning Continued: http://midknightmares.blogspot.com/2009/12/deal.html

A New Beginning: http://midknightmares.blogspot.com/2009/12/embodied.html

Inception: http://midknightmares.blogspot.com/2009/12/truth-is-perception.html

Perspective: http://midknightmares.blogspot.com/2010/04/unrequited.html

Summary: http://midknightmares.blogspot.com/2010/01/nothing-more-than-feelings.html

Voidfiller

There are certain things that I want to do with every moment of my life. When I am unable to do those things I fill them with something else.

Unfortunately, for all of my (dare I say) fans, I do not fill it with drawing. Drawing for me has always been dutiful. I have never drawn for the fun of it. I draw primarily to express an idea.

If I could sit and think up stuff all day for a living I would be pleased. Imagining, creating, designing. These are the things that drive me. I have always been able to draw an idea better than I have been able to describe it. I guess that this is some sort of blessing, because I cannot reason how another would not be able to do the same.

My mind is (over)active. When bored, I will daydream. When inspired, I will brainstorm.

When I cannot spend time doing the things that I want with the people I want to, I will withdraw. I would prepare myself by opening my chest to the event. But, when I am let down, a void remains. I look to anything else to fill that void. Luckily for me, drugs, alcohol, and promiscuity have never found a place in that void. Unluckily, electronic/theatrical entertainment has.

I got the latest void filled and inspiration has found its way to my pencil. Look for this as a finished product shortly: