Foreward

"Venge is my dream of a hero and his quest for love. And in this dream I have to do things that scare me.

I am MidKnight, and these are my Knightmares. "

-Sunday, December 13, 2009


Thursday, February 4, 2010

Acceptable Casualties



I set up a meeting with someone who I plan to collaborate with on this project. The meeting place was Barnes & Noble. I figured it was a nice enough place to grab some coffee, sit and bounce ideas off each other, and it would have a wealth of resource material if we felt so inclined. Additionally, I thought it would be pretty neat to draw there while grabbing inspiration from everything around.

I soon as I showed up I immediately felt embarrassed to bring my big, black, leather bag full of drawing materials, inside. I left it in the car, just in case I felt a desire to pull from it later. So I wandered around B&N for about an hour before I attempted to contact the other person. I got the voicemail and left a message. I wandered from the sci-fi section (looking for a current copy of Armor) to the Graphic Novel section (looking for a collect of stories about my favorite character) when something interesting caught my eye. While digging in and through stacks of books looking for what I wanted, I saw a guide to creating graphic novels.

I was intrigued. Maybe there was something I was missing. Maybe there were some things that I not foresee and, as a result, not have planned for. I pulled the book down and had a seat to skim the contents. I was not sure if this was something I was willing to pay $15 for, so I gave it a once over. Contained within was nothing I had not heard before, but it did outline them in a organised manner. I decided that it was worth the lose of funds. About an hour of that passed when I began to get weary of skimming a topic that I wanted to read fully.

I took a break and called her again (she did insist that I try repeatedly in case she was sleeping). Still no answer... straight to voicemail. I even dropped a text message as she was more prompt in their responses. No reply. I thought to myself that it was no big deal. I was already here and should not put this time to waste.

I resumed my search for those books I was looking for earlier as I was convinced to buy the graphic novel guide but would have to read it later. During my dig I found 4 other books all dealing with the concept of creating my own graphic novel. I sighed, pulled down the other guides and found another spot to peruse them. My analysis was not as thorough as with the 1st but I could already see some differences. I eventually settled on Making Comics by Scott McCloud. Of all the books, this one hit on all the points that each of the others missed, or that they didn't hit as hard as I would have liked.

Then I turned to books over and almost seconded guessed myself. The books were accurately priced by value. The cheaper the book, the less it caught my interest. But, was I willing to spend $25 on this one? I reasoned that the fact that I was even looking at them was a good indication that it was something I needed and certainly wanted. I made the purchase and was pleased. I gave up on waiting for my collaborator after one last attempt at calling and decided to return home.

While at home I continued to skim the book because I felt much too tired to actually read it. I kind of skipped over the storytelling aspect and went to the drawing part. That is where I saw those most dreaded words: draw everyday, keep it simple, and throw nothing out. Grr. I draw with purpose and an idea in mind. I rarely just sketch. Well, I guess my version of sketches would be the ideas that got screwed up and are put away.

I am, quite nearly, a perfectionist when it comes to my own work. So to create something simply for the purpose of putting lead to paper seems like a waste. It would be like watching a movie for the sole purpose of criticizing it. Like having sex simply for the friction but no climax. That's right; artistic masturbation, I said it.

Now, some of my artwork simply gets thrown away. But anything that has dealt with or will deal with Venge and this story have been kept. And through that process I can see the value in it. But, like I stated before, they were meant to be completed works that just didn't meet my standards. They were not sketches for the sake of sketching. I do not feel that I should sketch when I should be, full on, drawing. It just feels like a waste of time.

I use 'waste', 'feel', 'value', and 'time' a whole lot in these blogs. How can something of value be a waste? It cannot. But these works are restricted by time and based on feelings.

I have a limited amount of time,
To create the things I feel.
I can only afford to focus on the things of value.
Everything else is a waste.

But my logic is flawed. A writer writes what they know. You know everything that has had an affect on you. And because they are needed to create your work, they now have value. So, if a writer writes about everything they value, and everything else is a waste, then nothing is a waste.

Time will be my ultimate judge.