- Leonardo da Vinci
I admire Leonardo da Vinci greatly. I feel we have similar qualities. It is my aspiration to one day be ranked up there with him. A rather large boast, but we all need goals.
But, I get distracted. Calling me pationate is the typical response to me going on about the things I say and the things that really grab my attention. But, it is really only an excuse. There is very little reason for it. Likewise, I get very 'girl crazy'. I fall hard and fast. Make that: too hard and too fast.
Confident in the knowledge that there is not another out there who can complete me anymore, I still crave the affections of another. To be admired and to hold their facination. But, how could I possibly ask someone to forego their chance to be connected to their true love, by being with me? I cannot. I'm not selfish, just alone.
If it gets to be too distracting, I spend a sobering reminder in front of the mirror.
This gives me perspective again.
Calibrates me.
And sets me back to zero.
What if I'm wrong? What if I have yet to find the best person for me? What if everything I experienced was only a fraction of what I could experience?
I would rather have lost true love than never have found it.
But couldn't this be seen as selfish? What if I have yet to find 'the one', but, I meet her someday? By closing myself off from her, I deny her the ability to experience the love we all deserve.
Crap, I just found a flaw in my ideology. I... I don't know what to add. I have to think on this. Crappity crap crap. Well, I had something planned to write but I can't now. I'll be back if/when I can come up with something.
"Art is never finished, only abandoned."
- Leonardo da Vinci
"Contradictions do not exist. Whenever you think you are facing a contradiction, check your premises. You will find that one of them is wrong." Ayn Rand
ReplyDeleteYou can be wholly selfish and yet completely ethical, never having compromised your integrity. Leonardo was an amazing artist, and thinker, but there are better philosophers. If you gotta have an Italian, read Giacomo Leopardi. Even if you don't like his essays, I know you'd like his poetry. .
Funny thing is: I started out with Leonardo as my idol to tie in with what I had intended to write about. About one of the secondary characters and their relationship with their own idol. And further, discovering that their idol is still alive and dealing with that.
ReplyDeleteLeonardo got distracted with his other passions (art, science, philosophy, math, medicine, ect.) which caused me to think of my passions (creating, designing, & drawing.) But, unlike Leonardo, I like to specialize, which causes stagnation in evolution but milestones in discovery.
And, as will often happen with journals and diarys, something else came out. Freudian, if you will. As much as I compare myself to Leonardo I know full well how much we differ... I like women... a lot =]
"But couldn't this be seen as selfish? What if I have yet to find 'the one', but, I meet her someday? By closing myself off from her, I deny her the ability to experience the love we all deserve." ~ very enlightened thinking ~
ReplyDeleteTo have thought about love in this way is not a selfish act. To not share your thoughts about love would be the selfish act.
There was an artist who was having trouble with love and relationships so he went to a friend to ask what he was doing wrong. His friend pointed out to the artist that always painted women with their backs turned or looking away from him, distant, cold, untouchable. So he changed the way he painted women and the scene of the painting to that of love or affection, kind expressions on their faces looking straight at him, inviting... and women began to see this and wanted to emulate the scenes of his artwork and live with him in his dream.
By visualizing your dreams and putting them to paper in one form or another, you are reinforcing the bridge between reality and making real your dreams. May the universe grant your requests.