One week has passed. My soul is sore. I have beat myself up plenty. I cracked and bled. I need to recover. But only just a bit. I need not lose these feelings. But I need not be destroyed by them. The first time I experienced them, they nearly did so. And now, to gather them all up together... well... let's just say that I am happy for distractions.
So maybe this is a good time to get feedback. Despite the dry nature of telling (preaching) a creation myth, how is it going? And please be blunt.
It is white. A snowstorm blankets the sky making it difficult to differentiate between sky and earth. In the distance a shape emerges. The shape takes form and settles into that of a polar bear. The bear is trotting across the snowy landscape. It stops, momentarily to sniff the air, but doesn't like what it finds. The bear begins to scan around itself rapidly.
Suddenly, a wolf jumps from the blanket of snow to attack the bear. With a mighty swing of its arm, the wolf is knocked from the air and into a nearby snowbank. The bear steps to the side avoiding an attack from another wolf. The bear lets out a fierce roar and the snowstorm calms ever so slightly. With the break in the storm the bear notices that it has become surrounded by wolves.
The polar bear's body begins to warp and mutate. It's torso shortens and it's legs shift, adopting a bipedal stance. It's two mighty arms enlarge and opposable thumbs form with large and sharp claws.
"You Lupines disgust Ursal. Why is it that you have turned from the Earth Mother?" speaks the bear, "What would make you attack a Guardian?"
A white wolf, larger than its pack mates, steps forward and assumes a half wolf/half human form.
"It is you who have turned from the one true God, Ursal," barks the Alfa, "We were born cursed and have been given a chance at redemption."
With that, the rest of the pack shifts forms and pounce on the Werebear Guardian. Ursal swats one wolf from the air only to be bitten on the leg. A slash to that wolf leaves Ursal open and another wolf slashes at his side.
"BloodHounds are you then?" Ursal growls throwing a wide swing and backs himself towards a snowbank.
"Come out, Inquisitor!" Ursal roars. BloodHounds never attack without direct commands. "Come out before I make sure none of your pups here live to see the next Embodiment!"
The wolf pack suddenly stop their advance on Ursal. Their semicircle parts to reveal a man in red robes.
"So, Ursal, you are wise to the truths. But I wonder what part you shall play in all of this. What brings a Guardian into the U.S.? You have ran a great distance from the Motherland, have you not?"
Before I give feedback I'd like to know a couple of things.
ReplyDelete1. By telling this story, what do you hope to accomplish or impart to the reader?
2. Who do you hope to have as an audience? What sort of folks are you attempting to reach.
3. Is straying close to established figures (Charon, Lilith, Etc) in mythology are you hoping to give those stories a rewrite, or do you intend to exchange these entities in the edit?
Eeps, critical thinking...
ReplyDelete1. I tell this story for the purpose of entertainment. A story I would have wanted to read/watch had someone else written it. You have to write what you know. I don't know much, but I know what I feel. So, to make a powerful story I have to take the most powerful things I have felt, stir them all together, and poor them into a different mold. Catharsis for all.
2. No one. I guess I am just thinking out loud. Even when I draw the pages, I don't do it to appeal to anyone. I fix or change what looks wrong, marvel at what went right and continue to the next panel. It is true that I had hopes to sell this, but I would rather not make something for the purposes of being sold. I guess I just wanted reassurance that I wasn't talking to myself.
3. It was intentional. To give weight to the fact that all this MAY be possible. To explain all the mythos at once while integrating into the modern era. But, ever so carefully, as to not create another dyanetics. I had also hoped that familiar names would create a familiar atmosphere. Nothing too alien that might possibly alienate the reader.
Telling a good story is the noble goal of every writer. Choosing a mission statement helps keep you one task. Even if it's something simple.
ReplyDeleteExamples:
- Illustrate the wages of human sin.
- Put the pitfalls of eating cheese on display.
- Even a broken clock is right once per day.
Just pick something. If it evolves over time, that's the nature of the beast. If I don't have a mission statement, I lose my focus and start screwing up.
Also, pick an audience. Write. For. Someone.
I have a hard time picking a mindset with which to absorb your material or a set of sympathies to attempt interpretation. I feel like you're definitely talking to someone for a reason with this writing, I just can't see who or what yet.
Fair enough. Let me try to answer again,
ReplyDeleteI hope to tell a tale of a man whose phyche lies on the brink of insanity. Conflicting with emotional ties to something/someone that may or may not be true. All while his mind is clouded by voices of those who wrongfully died or scytsophrenia(sp?)
The target audience for comic books/graphic novels is generally the preteen through twenties male. I guess that is a good enough place to start. I guess it is easier to write to someone rather than try to write to everyone.
It really wasn't fair of me to ask for advice on this matter. It is the backstory of a graphic novel that was too boring to draw. I apologise. I don't know what I'd hoped to expect.
World building is essential. Sharing those elements is likewise a necessity. You blog. I wrote my own RPG system and run three separate tables in order to display those elements for approval and critique. It was the surest way for me to gauge the reactions of my target audience... gamers. I've got people in their 20s, 50s, and everything in between at my tables. Having some sense of my audience has quickened the process for me substantially. Our worst enemy is our own doubt.
ReplyDeleteYou're brave going for the tween crowd. I was too fucking stupid at that age to know what was good and what was shit. However, as evidenced by Harry Potter and Twilight... it's a market waiting to give you their commercial approval if you have the right formula.
Having a conflicted and moody hero seems to be part of that formula... so you've taken the first (extremely) painful step.