Embodied

I may have to make this post short and sweet so as to not dwell on matters that are out of my control. Otherwise, this part of the story may take a dark and self loathing turn. All we can do is delve into the depths of my nonsanities, unsanities, and maybe even my deepest, darkest sanities.

You, dear reader, have the privilege of being able to stop and turn away. I, on the other hand, am plunging head first into it... Insert maniacal laughter here. Or maybe just a barely noticeable head twitch.

Greggor' palm meets his face with a loud slap signalling that he has realised a mistake.

"There I go again," Greggor speaks, pulling his hand from his face, "I am getting ahead of myself again."

Crunched eyebrows and a red hand print on his forehead prove to serve as a reminder to Greggor that he might be more careful in the future.

"Now then," Greggor squints his eyes and looks off and up to his right, "where was I? Embodiments! Right. So these 'deals' were really more like contractual agreements. Bound by reality and binding reality. The Prime Beings agreed to and set up a schedule for these Embodiments and each one selected one of their servants to maintain their reality whilst they were 'away'. God selected Gabriel, his most loyal and noble. Lilith selected Lucifer whom she had taken from God ages ago, most proud and sure. And Death selected Charon whom had agreed to join Death in eternity as a servant, most brave and logical."

"Numerous embodiments would come to take place as each Being took turns living the life of a Human. Often times, they would simply live out an unremarkable life. Quite mundane and without much incident. Other times they would endure great hardships and strife complete with an unusually early demise. And, in the rarest cases, a Prime Being would gain some recollection of their true nature and use it. The most notable of these recollection incidents are fully recorder by the Observates, but I do not wish to alarm you with the details. All I will say is that it has to do with prophets."

"Regardless, each time a Primordial Being returned, at the end of their lives, they had a greater understanding of what it meant to be Human. Except Death. While God came from beings who experience many things, and Lilith created and experience things on her own, Death had no such instruction. Death knew only balance and justification. Not emotions and feelings."

"Twenty-five years ago, it was Death's turn to live a life as one of us again. As was part of the deal, both God and Lilith created a condition for the embodiment. God spoke first wishing that his child would get to experience love on this visit. And so it would come to pass, that in Death's embodiment it would get to experience love. Lilith thought hard about what she could do to better educate her child in the darker emotions of Humans. When, at last, she had a condition: that Death would experience true love. And so, too, it would come to pass that Death would experience true love in her lifetime as one of us."

The 'Deal'

So, I have taken to a layout of these blogs. You may or may not have noticed that I begin with some insight into my process of creating this story and follow it with a segment of the story itself. I know that it may have been a bit confusing and I tried to format the sections differently.

The back story has been the part of this story that I have thought most about, as it deals with concepts different from what we may be used to. But, I am afraid, Venge's story, as it takes place in the present, has been outlined, but the specifics are less thought out. So, even though I have been able to post something at least once a day, once the present storyline commences my posting may decline in frequency.

Until that time, I give you the next instalment.

"Ah yes," Greggor continues, "The Wogod did not wish to be referred to as such anymore. Good, I see that you were paying attention. Indeed Lilith possessed a strong personality, as would be expected of God's clone, so to speak."

"In fact, the Ungod came to be known as many other things itself. 'Itself', right. The Ungod was never given a name and neither had it a gender that we know of. Lilith and God's creations, man and woman, assigned names to the Ungod without fully understanding It's exact sway over such matters. Primarily the Ungod became most known as the force for which It held the most sway."

"Since God and Lilith created us humans, they could not bring themselves to uncreate us. They would guide us and teach us, but could not bring themselves to end our existence. Many ages passed since the first humans came into being, that the world had become stagnant and crowded. God attempted to remedy this by expanding the world in which we lived. Lilith did her best to create situations that would try our resolve and make God love us less. But neither could stem the flow of downward progression that we were experiencing."

"And so it is, that when neither God nor Lilith could control reality towards a mutually beneficial solution, that the Ungod had to step in. And, as is often times asked of it, the Ungod made a deal with the other two primordial entities. Humans would have the ability to live their lives as they saw fit, but not forever. The Ungod placed a lifespan on us so that we would not become content and would feel a need to accomplish. Gone too, was the ability of God and Lilith to spontaneously create new humans and instead the Ungod imbued us with the ability to procreate."

"As fair as this deal was, humans became discouraged with this expiration date and labeled this shadowy foreboding as Death. And so too did the entity who first put it in place gain its title. The Ungod is now, most commonly, referenced as; Death."

"Lilith and God knew that such an extreme measure must be taken but they never agreed to liking it. 'What should happen to them at the end?' was inquired of Death. A fair question, Death thought to itself and posed another deal to the prime entities. 'Those spirits who are more closely tied to either of you, may be taken to a new realm of your own creation. Free from the agreements made here and free from the scrutiny of the other Primordial entities. I will judge all souls and determine which path they will cross over to. I may even return a soul in the matter of souls who do not fall too closely to either path.'"

God and Lilith knew that they could trust Death to judge their creations impartially and justly. And, while it may have seemed to give God an advantage, Lilith was pleased with the opportunity to be able to sway humans to herself. Death further placed restrictions that no Prime Entity would be able to directly interact with humans either through themselves or any of their other creations."

"Ages more passed for us Humans where the Prime Entities would subtly guide us and teach us. But, they began to see us as possessions to be toyed with. It was only through the sheer force of will of one man that things are as they are today."

"A man by the name of Charon was able to speak with Death at his final judgement. He asked of Death, 'How is it, that you can pass judgement upon me without feeling the things that I have felt? How is it that you can throw me to my childish parents when they, themselves, know not what it means to be Human?' Death was impressed by the strengths of Charon's personality. That he could breach reality in the brief instant of his demise. That he possessed wisdom not typically demonstrated by Humans. And the courage it took to confront a Prime Entity and his own judge."

"Death had no choice but to consider Charon's words and could not deny their logic. So once more, Death approached God and Lilith with a proposition: That each Primordial Entity should have to spend a lifetime as a human. God agreed and further proposed that they should not have knowledge of their true power. Lilith also agreed and added that each one should have a condition placed on their 'visit' by each of the other Primes."

"It was enacted, and a schedule was put into place that would set regular occurrences of these 'embodiments' (the exact details of which currently eludes us Observates). To the best of our knowledge," Greggor concludes, "never has this schedule allowed for more than two of the Primordials to become embodied at the same time. But, we fear that two are currently embodied and that the third is about to become so."

Extrapolations

When trying to write these ideas, I have bit off more than I could chew. While all these ideas are in my head, never have I placed them in so much detail. And I am ashamed at how lacking they are in detail, at that.

While my initial idea may have been that: the main character fell in love with the physical embodiment of death and strives to kill bad people for a chance to see her again. My dilemma comes in figuring out how that may be possible and, furthermore, how to write that in a compelling way. I have worked through many of the conflictions, in my head. But, I have never written them out nor worked out how a dialogue concerning them might play out. I also, feel that trying to blog something after work, but before bed, also leads to lackluster scripting.

So, thank you for becoming a part of this experiment in self horrification. Feel free to comment if you feel so compelled. I won't take it personally. I'm not a writer =]

Greggor senses questions building within you.

"Let me stop here before you get lost in those questions," Greggor begins again, "I understand that you may wish for me to elaborate and be more detailed with some of the things I have already stated. What was before God? What happened with the Angels? What about the beginnings of man? and so on."

"Listen. I understand why you may be so inquisitive. But, I must warn you. I, too, was most interested in the complete truths. And, as it was explained to me in the beginning of my studies, all in due time."

"First, I feel that it would be best to explain how the Order of Observates is organised. If I were to recite every truths I have become privy to, not only would it take days of nonstop recitation to complete, but you would still be missing parts. Observates are chosen to shadow and watch key individuals. This has lead us to being called 'Watches' and 'Seekers' and even 'Stalkers'. Observates will, most times, spend their entire lifetime following the exploits of one individual. And while this may seem like a boring and thankless task, it is ours alone. Sometimes we pursue exciting and active individuals. In these cases, not only is maintaining anonymity difficult, but the subject of our observation may perish before they succumb to old age."

"In addition, an Observate who has proven themselves as very astute and, for lack of a better term, observant, may find themselves assigned to multiple subjects or as a collector of multiple subject truths. You may get to watch several people or you may be the one that Watchers report to."

"I tell you this, because I have been assigned to a man who now refers to himself as, Venge. And, his personal story extends back to these beginning days. As part of your training, you shall assist me in our observations of his activities. Also, as part of that training, you are to hear of his story and relay it back to me if asked."

"Do not worry, all Observate Initiates must undergo this process. In fact, I could recite to you my training assignment. A man by the name of Graustein. Spectacular fellow who was very difficult to remain hidden from."

"But I am sidetracking, please excuse me."

"As Venge's story has not directly been affected by what was before God, nor has it had any Angel involvement to date, and neither has the early days of man and woman. But God, Wogod, and the Ungod? Very important, and you shall learn exactly why."

The Beginning

I confess... I am not a writer. And neither do I consider myself an avid reader. So, what is captured within these blogs is a juvenile effort, by someone who draws, to write a story. This is not a cry from a low self-esteem (as I profess to having bad days, and worse days). This is a matter of fact.

I went back and spell-checked my previous posts, and they read smoother. I hope to, at least, engage you in my nightmare... I hope you really like it.

Greggor peers at you, reading you somehow. He seems content with what he has found and speaks again,

"Good. Let us start as far back as we can. Feel free to ask me for a pause, as there will be much to... digest."

"Man has the power to do anything. Mind over matter, Miracles, & Record breakers are just some examples of this. So why not god?"
"God was man. A man named, God. He was not the first of his kind, but he was the first of our kind. He was able to breach reality and became unhappy with the way things were. So it is that he started over. A painful amount of time passed before he became consumed with loneliness. He created a partner, equal in every way to himself, but possessing physical qualities most appealing to him. He called her Wogod and loved her."
"Wogod came into being possessing all the power of God and loved him in return. As time passed she began to question her place in reality. She sought to create new and chaotic things as she had not experienced them before."
"God soon became taxed with maintaining reality (he was only half the man he was before) that needed to create watchers and guardians to assist in keeping up with Wogod's machinations. Gods Angels. Wogod then became displeased. She did not like being ruled over and professed her abilities as Gods equal. She did not like being considered a child who was created and instead considered herself the same as God with the exception that she just arrived later. She claimed Angels for her own and insisted that she be referred to as Lilith and that none should make further reference to Wogod."
"In Lilith's excitement, she wanted to create beings of her own, but all solo attempts had failed. It took the combined power of herself and God to create man and woman."
"Time progressed where Lilith continued to venture out on her own leaving God to only watch. She wished for him to follow with her but knew that he had other duties. On one such occasion Lilith was able to convince God to follow with her into the shadows of her creation. It is true that God is all seeing and all knowing in his reality, but he now shared this reality with Lilith. God was shocked by what he saw in that moment. As Gods equal, Lilith had also became his opposite. Harnessing power equal to Gods, Lilith was able to conceal things from him that she knew would displease him. Things that she, herself, was ashamed of, but could not deny their affect on her. And in that moment, God cast his eyes once more on debauchery and vileness the likes of which he had not seen since he had started over. Normally calm and composed, God was consumed by the emotions of Lilith's creations. It a fit of overwhelming disappointment and rage, God undid Lilith."
"Everything that Lilith had created and influenced, vanished. All save for Gods memory of her. And he did mourn her undoing. He did love her after all. She was his equal, his soul mate, and half of his being died when she went away. Only the observation and guidance of their combined creations kept God from undoing it all again. Man and woman survived and progressed and procreated."
"Lilith was able to find herself, and willed her being to exist again. She was extremely hurt by God. She too loved him and only ever wanted to please him. But she could not deny that she was unable to do so. In this moment of self awareness, discovery, and emotion an immaculate event occurred. God and Lilith had a child. So strong was their love for each other. So powerful was their disappointment in each other. And so true was their inability to accept it all. Just as God created Lilith out of loneliness and spilt himself in two, so too did they create from their confliction. The Ungod was born. Ungod became a balancing force between its parents. And, with the power of God split into three equal parts, balance was attained. A universe on the brink of undoing itself was, in the exact instant it was going to be destroyed, saved."
"God established order. Lilith established chaos. And the Ungod established order where chaos was unraveling, and chaos where stagnation took hold."
"God embodied goodness. Lilith embodied vileness. And the Ungod embodied stubbornness."

"And there you have it," Greggor says, snapping you back to the present.

"That is the dawn of time and the beginning of our reality. I shall let you reflect on this and continue in a moment."

A beginning...

Rereading the last/first post has prompted me to pay attention to the editing tools. Nothing can disrupt a story faster than a misspelling. So, without further ado; 'A Beginning".

"Welcome to the order of the Observates. Our mission has, and always shall be, to observe the truths concealed within the beliefs.

My name is Greggor. I maintain only my family name, as I was born in this order and know nothing different. We Greggor's have received the truths for two-thousand years and passed them on to other Observates as well as down through the generations of our own family. The first Greggor received the truths from the Zultai family who, in turn, received them from another. As beliefs differing from the consensus, tend to be destroyed or ostracised; the first Observate Truthholder deemed that the truths shall only be recorded and recited vocally and from memory.

Take comfort in the fact that you shall receive the truths, but do not become overwhelmed with their implications. I am the last Greggor but with me shall not die these truths. And do not fear, for outside observers are necessary to gain perspective. Your task is to receive the truth and past it on to other observers. We do not question these truths, because our place is not such.

It is true that some recitations may seem to lack detail or perspective in some aspects. But, such is the downfall of oral recitation from memory. An observer takes from a scene what they sense of it and a reciter will repeat what they felt of it. These truths, in turn, become a personal journey. A journey constantly tainted by human nature, clouded by personal perception, and buried in triviality.

Prepare yourself to receive these truths. And hold these truths to be self-evident."

In the beginning...

Man has the power to do anything. Mind over matter, Miracles, & Record breakers are just some examples of this. So why not god?

God was man. A man named, God. He was not the first of his kind, but he was the first of our kind. He was able to breach reality and became unhappy with the way things were. So it is that he started over. A painful amount of time passed before he became consumed with loneliness. He created a partner, equal in every way to himself, but possessing physical qualities most appealing to him. He called her Wogod and loved her.

Wogod came into being possessing all the power of God and loved him in return. As time passed she began to question her place in reality. She sought to create new and chaotic things as she had not experienced them before.

God soon became taxed with maintaining reality that needed to create watchers and guardians to assist in keeping up with Wogod's machinations. Gods Angels. Wogod then became displeased. She did not like being ruled over and professed her abilities as Gods equal. She did not like being considered a child who was created and instead considered herself the same as God with the exception that she just arrived later. She claimed Angels for her own and insisted that she be referred to as Lilith and that none should make further reference to Wogod.

In Lilith's excitement, she wanted to create beings of her own, but all solo attempts had failed. It took the combined power of herself and God to create man and woman.

Time progressed where Lilith continued to venture out on her own leaving God to only watch. She did wish for him to follow with her but knew that he had other duties. On one such occasion Lilith was able to convince God to follow with her into the shadows of her creation. It is true that God is all seeing and all knowing in his reality, but he now shared this reality with Lilith. God was shocked by what he saw. As Gods equal, Lilith had also became his opposite. Harnessing power equal to Gods, Lilith was able to conceal things from him that she knew would displease him. Things that she, herself, was ashamed of, but could not deny their affect on her. And in that moment, God cast his eyes once more on debauchery and vileness the likes of which he had not seen since he had started over. Normally calm and composed, God was consumed by the emotions of Lilith's creations. It a fit of overwhelming disappointment and rage, God undid Lilith.

Everything that Lilith had created and influenced vanished. All save for Gods memory of her. And he did mourn her undoing. He did love her after all. She was his equal, his soul mate, and half of his being died when she went away. Only the observation and guidance of their combined creations kept God from undoing it all again. Man and woman survived and progressed and procreated.

Lilith was able to find herself, and willed her being to exist again. She was extremely hurt by God. She too loved him and only ever wanted to please him. But she could not deny that she was unable to do so. In this moment of self awareness, discovery, and emotion an immaculate event occurred. God and Lilith had a child. So strong was their love for each other. So powerful was their disappointment in each other. And so true was their inability to accept it all. Just as God created Lilith out of loneliness and spilt himself in two, so too did they create from their confliction. The Ungod was born. Ungod became a balancing force between its parents. And, with the power of God split into three equal parts, balance was attained. A universe on the brink of undoing itself was, in the exact instant it was going to be destroyed, saved.

God established order. Lilith established chaos. And the Ungod established order where chaos was unraveling, and chaos where things became stale.

God embodied goodness. Lilith embodied vileness. And the Ungod embodied stubbornness.

MidKnightmares

I have recently been reengaged in my original comic book (as will happen every so often). And, after reviewing a friends blog about his own documented journey of writing, I felt it would be a good idea to have a journal of my own exploits and adventures down this agonising path of original story/world creation. I have been working on this character for approximately 15 years now. In a nutshell: His name is Venge, The Death Dancer, he is a Crow/Kabuki/Blade Dancer mix, and he is absolutely mad (crazy and angry). And his story is bigger than just himself.

It took me a bit of time to realise that in my own fictional world, I get to create what is real. Things, that in our world would be considered unheard of and impossible, are mine to explain away or in greater detail. This is the power that a creator gets. And it scares me.
If I were to say that, in my world, the air is so dense and humid that animals such as dolphins, sea lions, and whales move about freely through it. Not only is that notion impossible to conceive in our world, but I must then think about the impact that would have on other things in this world.
But, it goes deeper than flying sea mammals. What about creating or reinventing modern gods? Quite easy to do in a fantasy setting such that is portrayed in medieval fantasy novels. I only say this, because I am about to rewrite the beginning of time... and I never thought I would, myself, have to play god... Or did I? I suppose all artists (writers, painters and such) have to take on the role of god to create. Creaters have to become Creators. In fact I stated it above: 'This is the power a creator gets. And it scares me'.
It scares me, because I know I am chalk full of ideas. I love imagining new and different things. But, I never conceived that an idea of mine would have to be believed with absolute faith. When you read a fictional piece of work, you yourself are taking the authors imagery at face value. And to the greater extreme, an authors goal is to write something so compelling as to have you, the reader, place yourself in the story. An author must make you believe in the characters and the story, no matter how 'far fetched'.
I have personal beliefs that differ from the mainstream. I truly believe in them, but I would never try to convince someone else of them. They are difficult to live with and can destroy a person. I have accepted them as true and have left room for you to believe in what you will. Anything is possible. And my job as a creator is to convince you of the possibilities, 'And it scares me.'

Venge is my dream of a hero and his quest for love. And in this dream I have to do things that scare me.

I am MidKnight, and these are my Knightmares.